Cry Purple

One woman's journey through homelessness, crack addiction, and prison, to blindness, motherhood, and happiness

Pick a Dream

I remember the day of the last attempt to save my eye so I would have a chance to see. When I was being wheeled into the operating room, I asked, “Shall I count down?”   The anesthesiologist said, “No, pick a dream.”    I did.  For me, on that day, my dream was to see my son for the very first time, even if only for a moment.  I knew that moment could be held in my memory for a lifetime.  I longed to see him just once, but after four and a half hours of surgery, I was heartbroken to learn the operation was a failure.

The doctor explained that my eye was now too weak to ever be operated on again.  My best hope was to hold on to the non-seeing eye as long as I could and hope medical technology would advance fast enough for my sight to be restored.  At that time, my dream was to save my non-seeing eye. But just as the seasons change, my dreams have changed.  My non-seeing eye died months later, and it had to be removed.  So I became blind in three days and both my eyes were removed in less than three years.

I have accepted seeing is not a reality.   But I often dream in vivid colors and try to wake in hopes of capturing the little child I meet in my dreams so I can see outside of my dreams.

Today, my dream is for a permanent home – a yard for my son to play in, a home with two bedrooms so he can have his own room and a laundry room with a washer and dryer so we no longer have to go to the laundromat next door.   Ricky and I have started saving toward our American dream – we have our little trailer jar we put any extra change or cash in when we have it.  We are hoping to purchase a mobile home in a mobile home park that includes a playground and is located right by the school he already attends.  Being able to purchase a mobile home would be like winning the lottery for us.  It would allow us to have a yard for Ricky to play in so I can feel like he is safe, to have a way to do laundry without operating those darn coin-operated machines, and for Ricky to have his own bedroom (which is Ricky’s American dream)!

Because I have a limited income, it will take forever to save enough money in our trailer jar.  And with my many years of homelessness, I have not yet grown much of a credit score!  Today I do the best I can with what I have but as a mom I long to provide a permanent home for my son.

I still believe dreams come true and hope you do too.

3 Responses to “Pick a Dream”

  1. Jamie said

    I so wish that Extreme Home Makeover would build you a home!!

    • crypurple said

      You are so sweet Jamie!

      Don’t even know they still do stuff!

      Although, they are a wonderful group of folks, and I would bet they would have built Ricky a wonderful play area in the yard as well!

      You, of course, can really help by encouraging others to purchase the book!

      3,500 books is enough to buy a nice little rehabbed trailer house out here where we live,

      I make a couple of bucks per book sale, so just asking folks you know to consider purchasing the book and asking their friends to do the same is huge.

      Word of mouth is tremendous!

      We have sold over one hundred books and it has just been over a week it has been for sale!

      So, I hope the book is not only a good story, that is informative, and offers a new perspective. It is also a book that, if bought, the funds go to a wonderful cause!

      Gosh, sure hope that on my next visit to Oklahoma we can get together!!!

      Blessings, Christine

  2. I hope you sell a million books. I hope you always live in a safe place where Ricky can grow up healthy and kind. I hope you have a good life. You deserve it. I’m a big fan. If I knew anyone, I would tell them about your book. I do put it on my Facebook pages often.

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